Every morning, you wake up, dreading the workday ahead.
Day after day is filled with anguish and drudgery. At first, you blame your boss or the company. You think, “if I just got a new job at another firm, I would be happier.” Then, you move to a different company, working in a similar job. And you’re even more miserable and frustrated. So you leave that job and go to another company, in a similar role and fall deeper and deeper into despair.
You don’t know what’s wrong. You’re moving from one company to the next like a habitual, dysfunctional dater. Your professional life is a complete train-wreck. You’re making the same bad choices over and over again and not understanding why (or how to move forward).
Unfortunately, this is a common story that’s been told to me by many of my clients. It is disheartening to hear the anguish and frustration that not only affects their professional life but spills into other areas: Their health, their family, their relationships and their finances! When everything starts to sour, it becomes difficult for them to isolate where the misery originated. But when we start to peel back the onion, we reveal the source: It always goes back to, “I hate my career!”
So how do we tackle the huge life issue of having a stagnant career? Certainly we question strengths, weaknesses, goals, likes, dislikes, personality traits, aspirations, and use visualization techniques to gain greater insight. But that is just scratching the surface. We must dig much deeper to gain true clarity to attain career fulfillment.
It comes down to one vital question–four little words. (Drum roll please!)
What is your purpose?
To answer this burning question, first think about this: How much of your day is spent on (as I call it) the BS factor?
You know, that stuff that drags you down, saps your energy and detract you from the things that are most important–that have true meaning in your life and work.
Recently, I had one of my clients journal all the trivial BS she experienced throughout one day, as well as things that provided purpose. She was shocked at how many pages were filled with BS and how little with purpose. She realized she was wasting her days (actually life) on nonsense … and that included her job, where she slaved away, day after day after day.
Just as a company must be aligned with its values, we must also be aligned with our purpose. Feeling as though we are meaningfully contributing and solving problems that are important to us DOES matter. It makes each day count.
Feeling connected to others, feeling inspired, having a direction in life, and–we can’t forget–experiencing joy, all help us to define our purpose. Yes, I know life is not perfect, but if you are able to stay true to your purpose it somehow neutralizes the unexpected challenges that come our way.
Once you realize your true calling, you must take action! Action is the most difficult part of the process.
STOP! This is where fear and self-limiting beliefs start creeping in to your head…
My purpose won’t pay the bills. I don’t have experience. I am the breadwinner. My family won’t support the decision. It ‘s not realistic.
…the list goes on and on. (I hear every excuse in the “talk myself out of it” book!)
- Why do we associate a dream career as risky but a miserable job as safe? Isn’t that just a fable YOU tell yourself to feed your fears (and thwart living a meaningful life?)
- Isn’t it as easy to apply to a joyful job as an unhappy one? (YES!)
- Is the process any different? Yes. It is actually easier to apply to a purposeful job because it feels better and more exciting. And it energizes a job search.
- Why are you denying yourself?
Would you ever, in your right mind, advise someone to spend at least 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday, for at least 40 years doing something that will make that person miserable? I hope not. (But that is exactly what you’re choosing for yourself.)
And if you had a friend who was miserable at their job, wouldn’t you try to be their cheerleader and do what you could to help them turn things around for the better? Of course!
Shouldn’t you be your own cheerleader?
Don’t miss another opportunity to start over and do something truly awesome! It’s time to get psyched-up to define your true purpose, discover your dream job and start writing your own story. Life’s too short not to.
Gail Tolstoi-Miller is an award-winning entrepreneur, CEO, career coach and staffing strategist. Her companies, Consultnetworx and Speednetworx are focused on connecting people for mutual fit and success. The firms’ new division, Careernetworx, will soon provide job seekers with exclusive access to training portals and career coaching services. Sign up for the latest information. Gail’s first book, Networking Karma was released earlier this year.